The Fresh Smell of......SNOW?!.....WTF?

Okay, April 21st...SNOW...really? Come on now! Well, at least it's gorgeous out today and suppose to get warmer as the days go by. I heard a high of 80 something on Friday! 80, that's more like it. But, really from one extreme to other...hello Wisconsin!
Well, Ashton has now turned 3. Cute as ever and oh so smart. He's trying to figure out how his papa is my dad and his bubba is my mom. He's really starting to get it now though! Oh gosh, he is the absoulte joy in my life.
I'm coaching the 6/7/8 grade girls volleyball team. In their league play they are doing incredibly well! They are undefeated and first in our league. They play completely different in tournaments though. It's like they go in thinking they are already defeated, so in essence they already are. We have our last tournament this weekend and I hope that they are able to be sure of themselves enough to pull out a few wins.
Next week is my last week of work before my surgery. It's bitter sweet really. I need to have this surgery so that my herniated disc won't collapse, but I will be out of commission for quite some time. I'm pretty scared, but at the same time anxious to finally get it over with. My two very awesome friends have agreed to take me in and take care of me for a while until I can go back home. I'm very greatful to them!
Oh, I broke up with Jeff. He was just too weird for me and we were way too different. Him being so conservative made things really weird for me the liberal. Yeah, so I ended it. I'm fine with it, I'm not so sure he is, but in time he will get over me! hahahaha!
Well as far as my life...that's it I guess. Stay tuned, I'm sure I will update after my surgery. Keep me in your prayers! Peace!

A little skird....

Okay, so as this D-day...May 4th...sneaks up on me, I keep getting more and more scared or nervous or something. Neck surgery, for real?! And really, it's not the surgery I'm so scared about it's the after effects. Am I going to be able to go back to doing the things I love, especially volleyball. If I can't play volleyball, I'm going to be pissed!!!!! Am I going to be able to lift Ashton up and give him big hugs. Am I going to be able to kick the crap out of my best friends again?! Haha! So, I'm trying to pack in all the things I can before this day comes as I'm not sure when I will be able to do it again. I know I can't drive for 6 - 8 weeks, or do pretty much anything for the first week. And, I'm going have a nice scar on the front of my neck...AWESOME! Or not! The plus side, it's not going to get worse and could even minimize my pain dramatically. That would be just awesome if it did! I'm sick of living in pain, it sucks!! So, if you would keep my sugeons in your prayers so they don't fuck it up, that would be just awesome. TTFN!

Spring is in the air...no I think it's love... ;-)

Okay, so not really love...because I am definitely not in love. But, I am in "like." Is there such a thing, I don't know it just sounded good! So, those who read already know that I have a boy. He's sweet and caring and religious and loves kids...a bit conservative, actually quite a bit more conservative than me...but we will work on that! It really feels great to have someone who you can share with and someone who likes you for who you are not what you can do for them or what you look like. It sucks he's four hours away, but at least it's not 10 right...or even 5?! If it's meant to be things will just magically work themselves out, okay now I know they will need work, but it will happen. If it's not meant to be, then it's just not. Well, just wanted to write a little blurb about my man. P.S. He's a great kisser...a BONUS! Oh....and his head is shaved....BONUS POINT #2!!!

Sneeze, Sneeze, Sniffle, Sniffle

Man-o-Man! I feel like a bus came by and hit me smack dab in the middle of the forehead while I was attempting to sleep last night. It has definitely been a rough couple of weeks and I was looking forward to a little repreve from the world of insanity I have been living. However, getting a cold was NOT part of this plan. I guess I have to be sort of thankful that this is the first cold, nitch that, the first sickness I have gotten all season. First or forth, getting sick still sucks! I had a very crazy night/morning on Monday/Tuesday. I got a call from our school's alarm company at 3:30 in the a.m. saying that there was movement detected in the school. So, I get up, get my coat and shoes on and start walking over to school. Then, I get another call from the alarm company saying that there are multiple movements in the school. Okay...so now I'm scared shitless. I go back home to call the pastor and let him know what is going on, he says thank-you you did the right thing and he lets me know that he will meet me there in a few minutes. Alright, so now I head back up to school and pastor calls and says the police contacted him and are doing a search though the school. There seems to be a forced entry. I meet a police officer on my way there (who btw is freakin' hot) and I'm lookin' a freakin' mess...AWESOME! Back to my story...So, the officer states that there seems to be a forced entry on one of the doors on the opposite side of the building. I walk over there and wait for our pastor to arrive. 15 minutes later...................................................................................................................okay, he arrives, we turn off the alarm system and meet the officers in the hallway. They take us to where the apparent forced entry has happened and it seems to me that was not there on my walk through only 4 hours earlier. They get a report from each of us and we stand around waiting and waiting until we finally get to go home at 5:00 a.m. Alright! Sleep time...haha, or not. Like, I could really go to sleep now! So, I get home watch a little tv, get ready super early and head to work. Oh, did I mention I didn't get to sleep until 1:30 a.m.? Oh, I forgot that, sorry! So, work sucks on 2 hours of sleep. I drag all morning and then decide at 1, that I really need a nap. I go home to get a little shut eye and everyone, AND THEIR MOM decides to text me for the next 3 hours! FUCK IT, I guess I am not suppose to sleep! And now just 34 hours later, I feel as a bus has plowed me over. Where does all that snot come from anyways? Alright, there's my sob story. Thanks for listening! GOD BLESS YOU! (or me 86 times today!)

I don't know how to feel...please tell me!

So...I watched "Prayers for Bobby" (I suggest you get a box of tissures before you watch it) and all the while I was watching a conversation ran through my head..." I can not support you if you choose to get married." echoed in my mind. Those exact words said by my mom to my siter. I can not comprehend how close-minded some people can be! I'm actually sick to my stomach thinking about those words. I had such an awesome conversation with my sister about it though. I am so glad that she is happy and realizes it is not her problem, it's my mom, or all those that are too blind and just are not knowledgeable enough about homosexuality. I really do not think I can hadle anymore crying! My heart hurts for those who are not accepted. My hear aches that there are so many people out there like Bobby...like Allison was...that are or would be outcast from their family, friends, jobs and most importantly the church. Do I think being gay is a sin? Absolutely not! What's the sin? Loving someone? Following their heart so that they finally can be happy. Most people only dream for such a life. I know I do! I hope I live to see the day what homosexuals are given the same rights as heterosexuals! I also hope to see the day that my mom says "sorry" for the pain she caused to my sister! But, if for some reason that day never comes...I know that I am glad that Allison is my sister, I'm proud of her and I will support her to the very end!
That's all for now...stay tuned for the next edition of "My mom is a moron" coming soon no doubt!

For you my sister!

You're no better than a racist joke
Or the abortion clinic down the street
You're no better than execution
You're the racist, I wished I'd never meet!
A mother's love is unconditional
But for some reason now it has rules
I'm actually quite discusted
Who did you think you'd fool?
Miss Holy of Holy, Miss Perfect
Puts a rating system on each sin
How many negative for being gay
On your system, only you win
Wait, wait what about murder
Now that's worth more points
How aobut sex before marriage
Or smoking a daily joint?
We all sin, don't you get it
But you don't get to choose
Which things are good sins, which are bad
Now you're going to lose
Not a game of counting points
A much bigger game to play
The game of losing your daughter
Who loses for being gay
Why hate those who only love
Why do you choose to hate
Why will you only support
Your daughter if she's straight
So disappointed I can not sleep
So sad you'll never change your mind
So upset to see my sister
Hurt by someone so blind
I dont think you realize
The capacity of your words
How the hell would you feel
if "I can't support you." Is what you heard?
Not from a friend, or co-worker
Not even a sister or brother
But from the woman who raised you
The one you call your mother.
I can't help but see you
In a different way for now
I see you as a racist
I just keep wondring how
How you can say you believe
How you can think you're right
How you can blame your daughter
And put your sins out of sight
You are a hypocrite
You need to find
You need to love
Before there's no time
You need to support
You must stop the hate
You need to love
Before it's too late
You need to get over it
You need to see
You need to love
And just let it be.....
Just let her be......
JUST LET THEM BE!

I hurt for my daddy-o

No, I really did have a great week, just feeling a little down today. Maybe it's the crappy weather or maybe it's not.
I talked to my dad last night about spending the day with him tomorrow. He sounded excited about the visit, but he did not sound well. Okay, did you follow that? I guess I am just sad that he did not sound well and it's even harder having no clue what he's going through right now. I get scared everytime I get a phone call at an odd time from my mom, thinking for just a few seconds this phone call may be about my dad. I get scared everytime I hang-up the phone with him wondering if that just might be the last time I speak to him. And I'm even more scared that I may have to walk down the isle at my father's funeral knowing I was unable to fulfill his wishes of him walking me down the isle on my wedding day. It kills inside knowing that I just am not able to do that. I hurt for him, but even more I hurt for my future children who will never get the chance to know him.
I'm a Debbie Downer today, I guess. I hate this feeling and I hate more that I don't know how to get rid of it.
So please just take some time and say a little prayer for my "daddy-o". Pray for strength for him and pray that he is able to live happily for the rest of his days.